Jon Farrell, MSW (he, him)

I’ll be real with you…

I never intended to be a social worker, yet I cannot look away from the reality that my life trajectory guided me towards the profession. Since entering social work I’ve embodied roles in understanding, partnership, and education with specific regard to anti-racist, anti-oppressive social justice work.

As a cis-hetero male social worker, the transition from one’s toxic desire for power, position, and prestige to a realization that it was these same things that resulted in my deep unhappiness was a journey of self-growth rooted in personal and generational pain, dare I say, misogyny and the male ego, and lastly acceptance. Today, I love what I do and who am I.

I am a proud man* in social work.

Men* in Social Work

Years ago, understanding that “social work” was the path I was about to embark on, I struggled internally on how as a “man” I could balance my desire to help people and the toxic “male-identity” I grew up with. Generally a career designated for female-identified persons, or those who identified as “feminine”, I would literally distance myself from my job.

Men didn’t help one another, compassion and care were aligned with weakness (they’re not BTW), and “support” was a role reserved for the “opposite sex,” already a misnomer. At least this is how I came to understand what it “meant” to be a man growing up.

*all persons that identify as men.

This image contains an information graphic on men in social work careers. Men account for only 18% of social workers. The question remains: why aren't more men* social workers?

So, where did fear this come from?

Being raised in a male-centric, patriarchal world, even as a young man I was divided internally. I loved art, poetry, music, meditation, wanting to be a dad, to be cared for, coupled with gangster movies, access to weapons, fighting, and the use of intimidation. My desire to be a stoic leader conflicted with my yearning to be loved and to love. As a man the only emotion I felt obligated to explore was anger, and, unfortunately, it was that anger that ultimately led to becoming more and more lonely. The only way back to center was to extend and build trust through releasing my own toxic male ego and learning to deeply care for another person, including myself.

Masculinity and Gender

Before I keep going, it is important to touch on the psychological impact of terms “masculinity” and “femininity” and how they influence a person’s decision to decide between careers catered towards “men” and “women.”

As I’ve deepened my practice in social justice work, my position on the topic of men, the male identity, and masculinity have become more clear. Our personal relationship to “gendered” traits like masculinity (vis-à-vis men) and femininity (vis-à-vis women) have really, for lack of better words, screwed us up. The gendering of traits, sometimes referred to as “gender roles,” have been weaponized (used to exclude non-aligning persons), cannibalized (used to subjugate within groups), and sexualized (used to power over others).

Today I understand that I embody “both” masculine and feminine traits, however the more I learned how we’ve gendered traits “both” all genders hold, I started to lean into my full identity as a man who holds “both” traits, e.g., strength and compassion, and this doesn’t make me less than a man. To be clear, as a man, woman, or non-binary-identified person, you embody “both” all traits and can hold “both” all roles at any given time, at the same time, or one more than the other.

Fellas, hear me out. We need you in the social work field. Men need other men in our field as well, and this means all men.

Here’s the thing, I was always looking to respect and admire a guy in context to my personal experience who embodied both strength and compassion that was not a celebrity or historical figure (remember, these are just stories at the end of the day). I soon realized this was a person I would never find until I found him one day standing right in the mirror. The field was calling on me, a dude, to step up and help out. I mean really help, not just for show…which means, straight up, 1) working on ourselves and 2) giving the reins back to the communities we serve.

Understanding this has only made me a more confident man. A man who can lead along side others in brotherhood rather than through the lens of patriarchy or power is a man who truly knows himself and where he (or they) stands.

Male Privilege and Power

So, how do we get there as men, and become men in social work careers? Well 1) we must take is slow and 2) recognize that a lot of society’s problems have been caused by us. If you are interested in this field, as a man, we must begin in self-reflection…please don’t come into this field thinking you’re going to run the show.

Even though social work is predominately made up of female-identified persons, we, men*, that is all persons who identify or present as men, hold privilege. With privilege comes access to power.

Building trust starts with making the effort to recognize 1) as men we have had unfettered, unearned access based on our gender presentation (coinciding, at times, with biological sex, i.e.: male privilege) to positions of power, discrimination withstanding, and 2) this power has the capacity to hurt others both intentionally and unintentionally. As men, we have to be mindful of how we can be at times, e.g., strong, assertive, controlling, unwilling to compromise or listen to others; not because we need or want to be this way, for many of us - this is who we have become; and this is where we begin. These are traits we have to unravel within ourselves.

Remember in this game, there is no need to raise your ego - what we need is for you to raise your fist. We do this by, first, recognizing we may be part of the problem, then we heal in community along side our brothers, sisters, peers, and partners.

The times and people are changing

Giving it up for those who came before us, the women like Jane Addams and scholars like my mentor Dr. Adriana Aldana, I hope to see more men in our field. Again, this includes all persons who identify as men.

So I’m using this platform to call all men* who desire justice for all. Let’s work together as partners towards social justice and promote healing over harm and partnership over power.

The more we invite opportunities of inclusion for all identities, including: race, gender, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, relationship status, religion, etc., and other aspects of the Self: age, height, weight, and material goods like the car you drive (or don’t), while reducing the impact of systems of exclusion and othering that pit us against one another or raise one over the other based on socially constructed “standards” reserved for few, the better we understand who and how we (really) are in shared spaces. The only thing not welcomed in inclusive spaces is hate and other exclusionary tactics to divide communities.

This is face of men* in social work today.

*all persons that identify as men.

This is Jon Farrell, a social worker.